"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" - but not because Joshua Harris Said So: Introduction

Hi there!  It's been a while since I last posted.  We have had a busy summer so far and so I've taken a break from blogging the last several weeks.  The last week or so, I have considered coming back on, but I wasn't sure what to write about other than a few random life updates on our family.  That was until...

A friend recently posted an article about the dangers of emotional purity and courtship.  I read the article and was immediately saddened, so much so that I have decided to write about my personal experience to explain why it does not have to be dangerous or damaging.  The original article that prompted my desire to share my (our, ie my and my husband's) story can be found here.  In this initial post I will address some of the common critiques that are found in said article, but for full disclosure this is not really an argument in response to the previously mentioned piece.  I don't feel that I can challenge someone else's negative experiences, and I will not be judgmental of how they have responded to being affected negatively by the idea of courtship (and/or those who have imposed it on them).

However, I do believe that I can share from a different  perspective and possibly shed some light as to why I don't think that the idea of courtship is, in general, unhealthy or damaging.  In fact, I wholeheartedly believe it can well be quite the opposite: both healthy and healing.  To be clear, the upcoming series of posts on this topic will be personal and from my own experiences and perspective, as well as the perspectives of those whom I have observed go about this process in a God-honoring way (ie: I may ask a couple of friends to guest post from their experiences as well). 

To answer some common critiques, here's what you will not find in this series:

• An attitude that states something to the effect of: single men and women (boys and girls) cannot and should not be friends because it is unhealthy.
• Courtship is the only God-honoring method of finding a mate.
• Parents must (or should) 'arrange' said courtship.
• A person/s is/are non-marriage material if they take part in a courtship or dating experience that fails in leading toward marriage.
• A person who does not believe in courtship is overly flirtatious.
• A person who believes in 'dating' rather than 'courting' (or some form thereof) is not serious about finding a God-honoring husband/wife.  
• Courtship is an old fashioned, legalistic and rule-based idea that parents set upon their children out of fear. (Some may, but like anything, there will always be extremes.)
• Basically any other idea that is part of a legalistic set of rules. Fill in the blank - you've probably heard of (or assumed) a few of your own in regard to courtship.  

 Bottom line: Just because a person subscribes to the method of courtship, this does not mean that s/he is looking to follow, or setting upon others, a set of rules that lack God's grace.  Conversely many, many young people (some along with their parents, and some not) see and have lived courtship as a means of grace in seeking the Lord as to whom he would lead them to marry.  This is true of Bryan's and my story, and as I have stated above, many others that I know well.  I hope you can see the beauty of this process as I share what God has put together in Bryan and I.

P.S.  As previously mentioned, this series is not really meant to be an argument, so the above critiques mentioned will likely be the only time they are mentioned.  It is rather (hopefully) to be read as a testimony of God's grace in our lives.  I mentioned them as a sort of disclosure in order to explain to the reader what is not in my thinking as I share our story.