Perspective

The Lord is showing me, as he often does, that life is really all about perspective.  Lately, this lesson has been given to me in heaps of reminders of where I come from, where I am today, and where I could be otherwise, if not for the perspective that he gave others and used to bless little old me.

When I was little, the church my parents married in was ripped in 2 by false doctrine, literally split down the middle between those that were true followers of Christ and those that had been fooled by lesser things.  My parents and others were betrayed by those they considered to be the dearest of friends.  The pain trickled down into the marrow of our family life, joined with other difficulties, and life suddenly got very challenging for our family of 6. It is only by the grace of God that our family was not also ripped in 2, though many times it sure felt like it was for all of us, as we seemingly hung by the tiniest thread for a number of years to follow.  Thankfully, Jesus had sewn that thread, and he was not about to let the evil one undo his work.  Looking back I can see the legions of angels in the spiritual battle that would try to take our family, but God always draws the line in the sand and Satan was not allowed to go that far.

 For many years, our family somehow survived on one often-too-small-for-all-of-us vehicle while my dad worked 2 or 3 jobs, attending college classes part time, and Mom often worked full time. We went to church with our mom on Sundays, but we were rarely able to participate in other activities mid week; it just wasn't possible. Needless to say, life was rough from the rising to the setting of the sun, not to mention in between.

 In the midst of that long season, the Lord used many who had a proper perspective of his kingdom to keep the weakest of sheep in his fold.  Many of them were aware of the work they were doing, and others simply obeyed their Father's command to love the unlovable, sacrificing for someone else's well-being above their own.

One such woman had 2 little girls roughly my sister's and my ages, and the door was always (and I do mean always) open for us to come over and play.  We were fed well, provided with encouragement, a place to be kids, and were often given rides to and from our culturally mixed neighborhood on the "wrong" side of town (In God's economy I don't think there is a wrong side of town, but that's for another day). We even lived with them for a week once when our family home had a house fire and we were forced to move out for a short time. 

Years later, my dad's hard work paid off with graduation, one full time job, and a second, desperately needed vehicle.  We were finally able to not just attend a church, but be a part of it.  We found a place to call a church home, but the challenge was still working it's way through our family and Satan was not done with us yet.  For many reasons, there was still a lack of peace inside our home, but once again God came through for the least of these.  He provided not just one but two family friends who also had an open door policy whenever it was needed, not to mention countless others with listening ears, as well as hands and feet of the gospel in various ways (like providing work to earn money for summer church camps).

It is because of people like this that I know where I am spending eternity today.  The Lord showed me his love in contrast to my sinfulness in the midst of all this and saved me.  The people mentioned above were all part of showing me the love of Christ in a way I couldn't deny it.  Many of them were not aware of it at the time.  They were just loving the unlovable, hands and feet in motion.  They were priceless servants of the King doing what they do, and he used it to convict me, draw me to my knees in repentance, and save me at the age of 12.

I am amazed at the way God still uses those events to shape my life today.  I could just call it part of my past, but he reminds me of it in unexpected times and places and uses it to convict me of how I should be living my life in the present.  When I give in to old patterns of the world and forget his love for me, he often uses my past to remind me of who I am, where I come from.  When he asks me to do something that seems like too much, I have his trophies of grace to remind me that many people (more than those that I recounted above), were also asked to do what may have at times seemed like 'too much.'  Yet, are simple sacrifices too much to ask for if they mean the gain of a soul to the kingdom? God reminds me that it wasn't for my friends, it wasn't for Jesus, and it shouldn't be for me either.

Therefore I turn to him in thanksgiving, repentance for my self serving heart, and with a renewed willingness to watch, listen, and act when I am called upon.  Even when I'm tired.  Even when I feel like the only one.  Even when it seems like too much.  Even when I don't understand it.  It just may be a small part of the cost of a soul for the sake of eternity, I just never know. 

Awkward/Awesome

I got this idea from my dear friend Haley over at Creative Roots.  She does it every Friday, but I've been lacking in posts lastely so I thought I'd do this for a quick and fun read for whoever cares.

Awkward:

1. We had a rough morning today so we missed the first week of story hour that we signed up for at the library, and it wasn't related to sickness.  I don't like committing to something and not following through, but that sometimes happens with kids.

2.  I was flooded with emotion as I was reminded of a difficult situation from years ago in my past earlier this week. The topic was part of a group discussion, and no one was aware of my previous experiences until I chose to share them.  It was definitely awkward to hear people reacting to a situation as those 'on the outside looking in.'  (It also made me aware of being careful not to judge someone in a situation I have not personally experienced, though that is not what was happening in this particular discussion, just to clarify.)

3. Attempting to turn onto my busy street from another busy street, and then get into the right lane so I can get into my drive way less than a block down.  This is often both awkward as well as a bit risky. 

Awesome:

1. Part time home schooling my son in Kindergarten is just plain awesome.  He loves it and so do I.

2. My school year Tuesday morning Bible study has started again. It's that time of year again to study the Word in depth w/ a group of women, build new relationships, and continue growing old ones.

3. Our small group at church has the 4th week 'off' but the church provides childcare so parents can have a date night w/ low cost (possibly free!) babysitting.  That's incredibly awesome!  We also eat dinner together when we meet.  This reminds me of my college days and I think speaks of good fellowship and bonding ahead for our group.