The Evolution of a Mommy, and Thoughts on Getting Ready to Receive Our Rainbow Baby

Okay so this is one of those, "I have been up a lot tonight and I'm not sure what's going to come out" posts...just to give you fair warning.  However, this topic just jumped into my brain again, and it's something I've been thinking about lately so we'll see what I come up with, and we'll see if I actually post this.  : )

We're roughly10-12 weeks before we can expect little Jeremiah to be born.   Time flies faster w/ each pregnancy.  By #4, I feel as if I've barely even been pregnant, but my continually protruding belly and the late night watches suggest otherwise.  I've been thinking these last few weeks, how 'ready' I am.  No, I'm not physically or environmentally ready yet.  Ha, does that ever really happen?  But I do 'feel' ready otherwise.

With my first, I had NO clue, of course.  I spent most of that pregnancy being miserable is all I can tell you.  I won't bore you w/ details, but I'm not going to lie either.  I wondered if I'd ever have the courage to do that again, but aside from a physically and emotionally gut wrenching first few weeks, we got through and he was one of those 'easy' (ish) babies, who has grown into an often delightful child of 4.  Apart from his daily infantile hints that he was to be a strong willed child, along w/ crazy hormones (mine), we made it through the first year pretty well. At that point like all new parents, we just rejoiced in the realization that we had done it.  We had kept a child alive for a whole year, thank you God!

Obviously I did have the courage to do it again. : )  For which I am so grateful, since my sweet #2, brand new 3 year old wouldn't be here if I didn't.  There's something so special about being a mommy to a little girl.  I can't quite explain it.  She's so much like me it's scary, and yet she's so different it's refreshing.  Her newbie days had their own set of challenges.  Nursing jaundice combined w/ coma like sleep, weight gain issues, etc.  Not to mention, she made me the mother of 2.  That was the real difficulty.  Finding the balance, or something like it.  I don't remember how we ate for 6 months.  I think Hubby did a lot of cooking, thank God for that man.

In the midst of all that, realizing the challenges that come w/ each child I remember thinking and saying a few times...Never.  NEVER again.  I am done. !

And so, I ate my words with our little butterfly baby about a year later.  I was both thrilled and terrified at the thought of 3.  I had just barely 'gotten used to' having 2.  Now 3?  Thrilling!  And terrifying.  And overwhelming.  Until...

We found out the news that she had touched our lives for a short time (Somewhere in there I learned the term 'butterfly baby' which resonated w/ me) and that was her purpose of life on Earth.  Oh how I ate those words..."Never again."  Words that escaped my mouth and not His - in my keen new awareness that He truly is the giver and taker of life.  I don't think anything other than the death of a child can teach you that lesson in quite the same way.

(Please note what I am not saying: that this experience was somehow punishment for things said and felt in frustration.  God doesn't work that way generally, or we'd all be in trouble an awful lot.  I'm not entirely sure why we lost our child, but please don't think I believe her loss was punishment.  Nor am I saying anyone's loss is punishment.  Just to clarify.)

So now here we are, awaiting our rainbow baby (baby after a loss if you haven't heard the term), with only a few weeks left in front of us.  I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here so I'll just come out w/ what comes up and leave it at that.

Looking back on all these experiences - the good, the bad, and the just plain ugly...I can circle back to what I said before.  I'm ready, and thankful.  For little or no sleep, crazy hormones, the struggle to find the 'balance', the ability to nurse or not (of course hoping I can, long story maybe I'll share another time), and just plain finding my way through it all again.  I'm ready for the days I don't do so well, and the days I know I'll smile at as I see them coming on the horizon, and everything it takes to get there.  I'm ready to enjoy the struggles and soak up the hard won, or easily gained - joy (depending on the moment). 

With the artist who penned these words, I can truly say, "You give and take away, you give and take away.  My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name."  However he chooses to deliver this little package, I'm ready to welcome his gift into my arms. 

Random

Wow, I've been writing some deep/heavy posts lately.  I should lighten things up a bit around here!

My big girl is turning THREE this week.  I can't believe it.  The day of her birth is still so fresh in my mind.  What a blessing that was after a very stressful first birth w/ our first born.  I hope our upcoming birth in Februrary is just as smooth.  I'm so thankful that she seems really ready to be a big sister too.  She is sooo excited.  It's also nice because she has gotten really cuddly and sweet lately - she always was of course(definitely as an infant) - but she's turned it up a notch so that she can enjoy being the family 'baby' for just a few more weeks.  I love being the mother of a daughter.  What a blessing!

Speaking of babies, a few weeks ago, a random lady in Starbucks got crazy excited for me being pregnant.  It was the first time someone in public had made mention of our pregnancy - so great!  I'm not even sure if she was a mother herself - she didn't seem like it.  Her absolute joy for us was such a gift!  It was especially great that Bryan was with me too.  She thought this was our first - lol! - got a surprise to learn this is actually #4 for us.  Boy is that hard for even me to believe!

I realized lately that we have only a few weeks left till this baby is born.  Okay, so it's really about 13, but w/ the holidays in between (which have somehow snuck up on me!) it's really only half that time. Whew!  Where did 6 months just go?!

For that matter, how about the whole year???  It seems I was just doing all the fun Thanksgiving/Christmas stuff w/ my kids and here we are again.  I love being able to make our own traditions as a family.  Last year, we did a Jesse Tree, which was so much fun.  I made all the felt ornament cut outs and we used them for Advent/decor/play. I'm sure we did some other fun things, but that one stands out the most.  I guess because it took some time to put it all together, and it was so worth it for all of us.

This year, I'm hoping to read The Christmas Pageant aloud to the kids (I think that's what it's called?).  I think my oldest is just old enough for it.

Also, we're staying home for Christmas this year and not traveling as we normally would.  I'll be almost 8 mos. pregnant and just don't want all the hassle that goes along with traveling, holidays, etc at that point in my pregnancy.  We often close out the season w/ sickness bc we've seen so many people in a short period of time.  I'm hoping we can avoid that this year. 

Hubby and I are having fun planning our day.  It will definitely be different for us - neither of us has spent Christmas w/o our parents and siblings before - but I think we'll all have just as good a time here. 

Whew!  I could learn a thing or two about brevity, no?  It's probably time to wrap this up.  Real quick though before I go - what are your favorite holiday traditions?  Either from childhood or in your household currently.  Do tell! : )

On Being the Mother of a Strong Willed Child: Venting, and More Questions than Answers

Disclaimer: This is not a pity party. If you don't understand why I would write this otherwise, that's fine, but please don't label me as a whiner for needing to get these thoughts out today.  At least, don't tell me you are doing that, even if you are.  Thanks.

Vent:

I've been having a few days recently where I'm battling with this role, this identity.  I am the mother of a strong willed child, and most days it seems like I have yet to truly accept that.  I war against myself, my child, and God concerning our identities.  His, the strong willed child...and mine the mother of this uniquely gifted child.  I do believe his personality is a gift.  It's just that many days, it also very much feels like a curse.  Oh yeah...this post is going to raw.  Just so you know, ha - if you haven't already figured that out.  So, on to the point of this post...more questions than answers.  Please,  please if and when you read this, don't give me answers.  Even if you have them.  Even if you think you are right, and even if you truly are.  I have a 'knowing' that these are answers I have to find for myself.  Some of these questions I already have the answers to, at least the head knowledge - yet I am still fighting within myself to accept them.  This is just my, "I had a bad day today" raw reaction, and in some small way I wonder if someone else will be able to identify and at least not feel alone on this journey that can seem very lonely at times.

Questions:

1. Why?  Why did God give me a strong willed child?

2. What am I supposed to learn from this part of my journey on the path called 'Motherhood'?

3. What specifically is it about this unique child that I need?  What part of him uniquely needs me as his mother?  I fully believe that everything God does in our lives, every single situation he allows us to be in, is for a reason.  There is something about both of us that needs the other, even though we struggle immensely at times.

4. How am I going to raise this child into a mature young man?

5. What will I understand then, that I'll wish I'd understood now?

6. Why does he seem to just not care sometimes?  Why does it seem like a game to him some days?  Why does he seem oblivious to our struggle some days?

7.  Yet other days...he is so 'in tune' to our struggle.  Not in a bad way, but in a healthy, thinking, repenting, desiring to be different kind of way.  His prayers of repentance shame me at times.  'Out of the mouths of babes' - that kind of thing.

8. Why does all of this bring out the best, and ALSO the worst in me - many times on the same day.

9. Why do I mostly feel misunderstood by others when I express my difficulties (because this part of my job is such a challenge, and I am such an open book type of person, that I just can't keep it inside lots of days)?  God knows one of the things I really hate is to feel misunderstood.  It makes me feel inadequate.  It makes me feel like a bad mother, because "obviously" everyone else has all the answers to my situation (except many times they don't really, they just think they do). 

9. Will I ever just 'get' him?  Will I ever stop questioning and just accept our reality???

10. What could/would be different about this struggle if I could just consistently give in to God's sovereignty as related to this situation? 

One thing I've obsrerved in motherhood is how pregnancy and labor/delivery of each of my children has somehow been a foreshadowing from God as to their unique personalities.  If you knew me when I was pregnant with Samuel,  you know that journey was a far from easy 10 months, to the very end at his time of birth.  I am reminded at this moment, that my consistent prayer throughout three hours of pushing his little body into this world:

Philippians 4:13

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

This is where my focus ought to be.  I had no idea how in the world he was going to be born that day.  I was literally out of all physical strength, but God supernaturally strengthened me to deliver him as I repeated the above verse probably hundreds of times in my head that day.  I suppose that answers many of my questions.

Five Minute Friday: When Our Roots are Exposed

1.  Write for 5 minutes flat.

2. No editing, just whatever comes to mind on the given topic.  This time, the word is: roots.

3. Stop wherever you are at 5 minutes and link up here.

Sometimes things are rooted so deep inside, you forget they are there - how much they mean to you, how much they shape you.  Until someone digs down a little deep and maybe without even realizing it, they hit a nerve on one of those roots.

You may sit stunned for a time or put it back for now and pick it up later.  The fact is though, your roots are exposed.

Sometimes it's God.   Okay it's always God but sometimes there isn't anyone to give credit to but God.   Something pops up - something that he sovereignly gave roots to a long time ago...and you realize...you remember...you wake up as if out of a deep sleep.  You know you must do. something. 

Those roots have not been exposed for no reason.  Maybe you need to repent, with prayer and action.  You know what to do.  You just gotta do it.  Take my eyes off of me and remember those roots.

Repent for that entitlement that has somehow weaved it's way into my life.  Remember that I know what it's like to be there.  How can I see my roots disturbed in the experience of someone else and not act when I know.  I know what it's like to be there.  

The digging up of those roots has amazing potential.  Let's don't ignore those moments when our roots get exposed.  Something tells me we won't regret the result if we pay attention. 

Awkward/Awesome

Awkward

1. The babysitter canceled last night and we couldn't find a replacement so I had to go to our Bradley Method class alone...on our labor practice night.  Thankfully, one of the attending doulas stepped in to be my 'partner'.  The awkward part?  When I had to 'labor' in the bathroom w/ a (mostly) complete stranger. and when she had to help me work on relaxation, which you'll understand if you have ever taken a Bradley or other similar class before..  Awkward? You betcha, but it actually worked out pretty well and I found out those doulas are some pretty great women.

2. The other day we had our family pictures taken.  The awkward part is when your (almost) 3 and 4 year old say, "Mama, you look sooo pretty!" because they notice that you are finally wearing the makeup that has been hiding in the closet for the last 6 months.

Awesome

!. We got our family pictures taken!  We don't have them yet, but there might be a smattering of samples on here soonish...sort of.  We don't post pictures of our children on line.

2.  I'm having a birthday party to celebrate my upcoming 30th.  I haven't had a birthday party, or cake for that matter, since I was 12.  When your birthday is on the 26th of December, you tend not to care about cake the day after Christmas, even if you enjoy it.  I decided the awesomeness of turning 30 needs to be celebrated this year, so I'm planning the party over a month early (along w/ another friend who also turns 30 on the 29th). : )

How Jeremiah got his Name

Like many women who have experienced multiple pregnancies, I knew I was expecting a couple of days before I actually took a test. I woke up very early one morning, and thinking of our last child who didn't make it prayed, "Oh Lord, how is this all going to work out?"  This rarely happens to me, but God responded immediately in my mind with the phrase, "For My glory."  As I contemplated those words, peace washed over me with the reminder that this pregnancy is not about me, no matter what happens.

My husband and I recognized this was a significant moment and made a point to remember it.  One way we chose to do that was to ask the Lord for a name for this child that goes along w/ that phrase, or even just the word 'glory.'  Girl names were obvious,  but none of them really seemed to feel quite right.  Boy names were all just very odd sounding in a, 'What were you on when you named this child?' kind of way.  That was until we stumbled on the name Jeremiah, and the suggestion that it's meaning - honor - is similar  to the word glory.  That seemed to fit so we agreed to keep it on the back burner for a while.

Well, just a few days later, the Holy Spirit strongly prompted me to turn to the book of Jeremiah in the Bible.  Note: I was not thinking about baby names at the time, just felt very impressed upon to look there.  I did, and this is what my eyes fell upon as I glanced down the page in the first chapter:

Jeremiah 1:5a

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;

It was then that I realized the name of the book of the Bible I was reading from (duh!). I showed my husband and we agreed, it seemed as if God was saying to us, "This child is a boy, and Jeremiah is his name."  Although I admit I questioned the experience many times after, overall I thought, how can I argue with something so clear?  So just a couple of weeks into the pregnancy, I felt like Mary, Elizabeth, Sarah, or Hannah in the Bible.  I guess if he told them early on, he can tell me right?  I have not shared the story much until now, but I have held onto it with great hope, comfort, and encouragement from the Lord throughout these first 21 weeks. As many of you reading this likely know by now, we just found out 'officially' that we are expecting a boy!  Imagine my awe, yet lack of surprise, at the technician's proclamation of the sex. : )

Perspective

The Lord is showing me, as he often does, that life is really all about perspective.  Lately, this lesson has been given to me in heaps of reminders of where I come from, where I am today, and where I could be otherwise, if not for the perspective that he gave others and used to bless little old me.

When I was little, the church my parents married in was ripped in 2 by false doctrine, literally split down the middle between those that were true followers of Christ and those that had been fooled by lesser things.  My parents and others were betrayed by those they considered to be the dearest of friends.  The pain trickled down into the marrow of our family life, joined with other difficulties, and life suddenly got very challenging for our family of 6. It is only by the grace of God that our family was not also ripped in 2, though many times it sure felt like it was for all of us, as we seemingly hung by the tiniest thread for a number of years to follow.  Thankfully, Jesus had sewn that thread, and he was not about to let the evil one undo his work.  Looking back I can see the legions of angels in the spiritual battle that would try to take our family, but God always draws the line in the sand and Satan was not allowed to go that far.

 For many years, our family somehow survived on one often-too-small-for-all-of-us vehicle while my dad worked 2 or 3 jobs, attending college classes part time, and Mom often worked full time. We went to church with our mom on Sundays, but we were rarely able to participate in other activities mid week; it just wasn't possible. Needless to say, life was rough from the rising to the setting of the sun, not to mention in between.

 In the midst of that long season, the Lord used many who had a proper perspective of his kingdom to keep the weakest of sheep in his fold.  Many of them were aware of the work they were doing, and others simply obeyed their Father's command to love the unlovable, sacrificing for someone else's well-being above their own.

One such woman had 2 little girls roughly my sister's and my ages, and the door was always (and I do mean always) open for us to come over and play.  We were fed well, provided with encouragement, a place to be kids, and were often given rides to and from our culturally mixed neighborhood on the "wrong" side of town (In God's economy I don't think there is a wrong side of town, but that's for another day). We even lived with them for a week once when our family home had a house fire and we were forced to move out for a short time. 

Years later, my dad's hard work paid off with graduation, one full time job, and a second, desperately needed vehicle.  We were finally able to not just attend a church, but be a part of it.  We found a place to call a church home, but the challenge was still working it's way through our family and Satan was not done with us yet.  For many reasons, there was still a lack of peace inside our home, but once again God came through for the least of these.  He provided not just one but two family friends who also had an open door policy whenever it was needed, not to mention countless others with listening ears, as well as hands and feet of the gospel in various ways (like providing work to earn money for summer church camps).

It is because of people like this that I know where I am spending eternity today.  The Lord showed me his love in contrast to my sinfulness in the midst of all this and saved me.  The people mentioned above were all part of showing me the love of Christ in a way I couldn't deny it.  Many of them were not aware of it at the time.  They were just loving the unlovable, hands and feet in motion.  They were priceless servants of the King doing what they do, and he used it to convict me, draw me to my knees in repentance, and save me at the age of 12.

I am amazed at the way God still uses those events to shape my life today.  I could just call it part of my past, but he reminds me of it in unexpected times and places and uses it to convict me of how I should be living my life in the present.  When I give in to old patterns of the world and forget his love for me, he often uses my past to remind me of who I am, where I come from.  When he asks me to do something that seems like too much, I have his trophies of grace to remind me that many people (more than those that I recounted above), were also asked to do what may have at times seemed like 'too much.'  Yet, are simple sacrifices too much to ask for if they mean the gain of a soul to the kingdom? God reminds me that it wasn't for my friends, it wasn't for Jesus, and it shouldn't be for me either.

Therefore I turn to him in thanksgiving, repentance for my self serving heart, and with a renewed willingness to watch, listen, and act when I am called upon.  Even when I'm tired.  Even when I feel like the only one.  Even when it seems like too much.  Even when I don't understand it.  It just may be a small part of the cost of a soul for the sake of eternity, I just never know. 

Awkward/Awesome

I got this idea from my dear friend Haley over at Creative Roots.  She does it every Friday, but I've been lacking in posts lastely so I thought I'd do this for a quick and fun read for whoever cares.

Awkward:

1. We had a rough morning today so we missed the first week of story hour that we signed up for at the library, and it wasn't related to sickness.  I don't like committing to something and not following through, but that sometimes happens with kids.

2.  I was flooded with emotion as I was reminded of a difficult situation from years ago in my past earlier this week. The topic was part of a group discussion, and no one was aware of my previous experiences until I chose to share them.  It was definitely awkward to hear people reacting to a situation as those 'on the outside looking in.'  (It also made me aware of being careful not to judge someone in a situation I have not personally experienced, though that is not what was happening in this particular discussion, just to clarify.)

3. Attempting to turn onto my busy street from another busy street, and then get into the right lane so I can get into my drive way less than a block down.  This is often both awkward as well as a bit risky. 

Awesome:

1. Part time home schooling my son in Kindergarten is just plain awesome.  He loves it and so do I.

2. My school year Tuesday morning Bible study has started again. It's that time of year again to study the Word in depth w/ a group of women, build new relationships, and continue growing old ones.

3. Our small group at church has the 4th week 'off' but the church provides childcare so parents can have a date night w/ low cost (possibly free!) babysitting.  That's incredibly awesome!  We also eat dinner together when we meet.  This reminds me of my college days and I think speaks of good fellowship and bonding ahead for our group.

"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" - but not because Joshua Harris Said So: Introduction

Hi there!  It's been a while since I last posted.  We have had a busy summer so far and so I've taken a break from blogging the last several weeks.  The last week or so, I have considered coming back on, but I wasn't sure what to write about other than a few random life updates on our family.  That was until...

A friend recently posted an article about the dangers of emotional purity and courtship.  I read the article and was immediately saddened, so much so that I have decided to write about my personal experience to explain why it does not have to be dangerous or damaging.  The original article that prompted my desire to share my (our, ie my and my husband's) story can be found here.  In this initial post I will address some of the common critiques that are found in said article, but for full disclosure this is not really an argument in response to the previously mentioned piece.  I don't feel that I can challenge someone else's negative experiences, and I will not be judgmental of how they have responded to being affected negatively by the idea of courtship (and/or those who have imposed it on them).

However, I do believe that I can share from a different  perspective and possibly shed some light as to why I don't think that the idea of courtship is, in general, unhealthy or damaging.  In fact, I wholeheartedly believe it can well be quite the opposite: both healthy and healing.  To be clear, the upcoming series of posts on this topic will be personal and from my own experiences and perspective, as well as the perspectives of those whom I have observed go about this process in a God-honoring way (ie: I may ask a couple of friends to guest post from their experiences as well). 

To answer some common critiques, here's what you will not find in this series:

• An attitude that states something to the effect of: single men and women (boys and girls) cannot and should not be friends because it is unhealthy.
• Courtship is the only God-honoring method of finding a mate.
• Parents must (or should) 'arrange' said courtship.
• A person/s is/are non-marriage material if they take part in a courtship or dating experience that fails in leading toward marriage.
• A person who does not believe in courtship is overly flirtatious.
• A person who believes in 'dating' rather than 'courting' (or some form thereof) is not serious about finding a God-honoring husband/wife.  
• Courtship is an old fashioned, legalistic and rule-based idea that parents set upon their children out of fear. (Some may, but like anything, there will always be extremes.)
• Basically any other idea that is part of a legalistic set of rules. Fill in the blank - you've probably heard of (or assumed) a few of your own in regard to courtship.  

 Bottom line: Just because a person subscribes to the method of courtship, this does not mean that s/he is looking to follow, or setting upon others, a set of rules that lack God's grace.  Conversely many, many young people (some along with their parents, and some not) see and have lived courtship as a means of grace in seeking the Lord as to whom he would lead them to marry.  This is true of Bryan's and my story, and as I have stated above, many others that I know well.  I hope you can see the beauty of this process as I share what God has put together in Bryan and I.

P.S.  As previously mentioned, this series is not really meant to be an argument, so the above critiques mentioned will likely be the only time they are mentioned.  It is rather (hopefully) to be read as a testimony of God's grace in our lives.  I mentioned them as a sort of disclosure in order to explain to the reader what is not in my thinking as I share our story. 

Strong Willed Children: A Couple of Links I Have Been Meaning to Share

I originally started this blog as one means of getting out some stress related to being the mother of a strong willed child.   I have tried again and again to write something that reflects the challenges, at the same time keeping a positive spin and not just being a big internet whiner. Unfortunately, I just haven't felt like I've yet been able to put the right words down that would be honest, helpful, or edifying.  I do feel I have a balanced perspective (most days), but the tough ones do still cloud my thinking from time to time, and I just don't always know how to share my heart with out feeling overly vulnerable and misunderstood.  Thus, I have heretofore refrained from discussing my personal struggle (and even now I simply admit it's there).

However, I have come across some other bloggers who have done a fabulous job of sharing their own struggles of late.  They have challenged me and made me feel that I am not alone on this path.  So, instead of sharing my own mixed bag of woes, challenges, joys, and (hard won) accomplishments...for now I'll just not try to re-invent the wheel and post others' more well put together thoughts here.

 If you are the mother of a strong willed child and need encouragement today, or if you know parents of a strong willed child and simply want to understand their struggle, check out the links below.  

• Wise words and encouragement for the road you're on:  http://thechristianpundit.org/2012/06/04/parenting-a-strong-willed-child/

• Honest words relating the difficulty, coupled with wisdom for the daily grind: http://www.1plus1plus1equals1.net/2012/06/the-perfect-catalyst/

If you are in this place with me, I sincerely hope and pray the Lord blesses and challenges you with these words as he has used them to bless me.  I don't know about you, but it's so helpful just to know I am not the only mother on the planet who struggles to be the right kind of mom for her strong willed child.  

3 Cheers for The Curly Girl Handbook!

Okay,  I'm not going to bore you with the details (see my Facebook page under my post about the baking soda fail if you know me and are really curious), but I will say how much I love The Curly Girl Handbook!  I was lamenting all of my recent hair woes with a friend several weeks back, because I heard she had been using the baking soda wash for a while, when she told me about the book.  At first I was not too excited because I have seen their very, very confusing website  - which can be helpful but is also not well organized.

Anyway, thank God for the book!  There is a whole section for each kind of curl type with detailed instructions on how to care for your curls, including a dvd with video instructions.  This is not going to be an all around review, but let me just say how normal I felt after reading this book!  For years, people have looked at me kind of screwy when I tell them that my hair is actually more curly than not - especially the various hair dressers I've been to. My question has always been, then WHY do you feel the need to blow dry and flat iron my hair like crazy whenever I sit in your chair?!  I know my curls are not terribly uniform and look more enhanced in some areas than others, but it does act more curly than straight most days.

All this to say...I took the book's advice and am living with my weird wavy/curly hair.  I decided a few months back that I just do NOT have time to deal with making it perfectly straight any longer, when that's just not what it is.  I was thrilled that the book encouraged me toward embracing my hair type instead of fighting it. More specifically, it taught me that while my hair may act a bit weird at times, it's natural pattern and response really is curly.  It also gave a VERY simple routine to follow that helps my incredibly sensitive waves actually hold their shape w/ very little effort.  It used to be a daily battle with my hair, but I am over it.  This does not mean that I don't sometimes pull out the flat iron to achieve a certain look, but it is not on a daily, hair damaging basis any longer.  I am learning to live with my locks and love them for what God made them to be, even if they do seem to have a mind of their own.

Washing My Hair With Baking Soda: Fail...(though I did find another solution)

My hair has been changing since I began having children.  I went from 'perfectly' straight, hair model type hair (those were words of my friends in the past, not my own), to this weird mushroom shaped head that was sometimes kind of wavy and sometimes straight but never really one or the other.  It began to tangle easily and just wasn't the same as it used to be: as in, before I could go days without combing or brushing my hair and no one noticed (my roommate finally noticed and commented on this several months after we had been living together in college one year).  I could literally roll out of bed most days, place my hair in a part and walk out the door as long as it was clean.  Or, I could just literally 'wash and wear' with no ill effects. Sometimes girls would even ask me what I did to straighten it, and I would tell them..."Uh, nothing...this is just how it is I guess."  I didn't realize how 'blessed' I was with easy to care for hair.

Needless to say, when my hair began to change, I sort of freaked out.  If you know me, you know I'm not a vain person by any means, but I have always been a bit protective of my locks.  For a few years, I basically just lived with it and used heat to straighten my hair in various ways, though it was never the same as it had been when I was younger.  It was frustrating, but what could I do?  I was clueless....

...Until a few years into this frustrating new hair when I ran into a few blog posts such as this one about washing your hair with baking soda.  Basically, what I read promised that if I'd just give it a couple of solid months, my hair would become more manageable and less frustrating.  I would stop stripping my hair of it's natural oils and it would be restored to it's normal, healthy state if I would just treat it well and stop using shampoo.

So I decided to give it a good solid shot and committed to the baking soda method for 8 weeks.  In the beginning, I loved it.  In fact, after the first use, my husband even commented on how different my hair looked; it obviously wasn't being weighed down by artificial moisturizers any longer.  Then, I got to the weird stage where the scalp makes too much oil for a while and you just have this weird greasy crown some days.  I kept at it, because every thing I had read  promised this would happen.  In the end, though, the oils would balance out and my hair was supposed to be healthier and happier, for the long run.

Well, I'm not sure what happened, but it just didn't go that way for me in the end.  I did get over the funky greasy stage, but then my hair just got incredibly dry and even more unmanageable.  When I would try to condition it, the conditioner would stick to my hair and make it look like I hadn't washed it in a week or two. I used multiple kinds of conditioners - some 'natural' and some not (w/o supposed 'bad' oils and chemicals for curly girls), but nothing seemed to help.  If I used any conditioning at all, I looked greasy again, but if I didn't I was overly dry.  While it was no longer being weighed down by anything artificial, it also didn't shine or look healthy, though at least it didn't look dirty. In short, it just felt weird.

All that to say, I stuck it out, but I just couldn't live with the baking soda wash long term.  I have read of a variety of methods (so it's quite possible that I just didn't choose the right one), but that's okay with me for now.  Those several weeks of experimentation were enough for me, and for now I've settled on a new solution from The Curly Girl Handbook.

What was supposed to be this short update is now taking up a lot of space so I'll spare the details and come back to this story another time.  I will close in saying how thankful I am for the aforementioned book though - it literally gave me all the answers that NO ONE had been able to for about 4 years.  Suffice it to say, I highly recommend it as a reference for anyone whose hair has the slightest wave or curl pattern.  You won't regret it (and I promise to tell you more later).

For His Glory

t's Five Minute Friday again over at The Gypsy Mama.  We write for five minutes, from thought to fingertips, with no editing.  Just real and raw reaction to the word expectation.  Go.

We wait with expectation...

Wondering what God will do

How He will do it

Where He will ask us to go

How are we to go about it

We tremble

With excitement

With fear

With Joy

Curiosity

Knowing

Who He is

Who we are not

Truth

Our Reality

What if?

When?

Where?

How much will it cost?

Not in dollars and cents.

We Trust He'll provide

For the experience

We wait 

With Expectation

For his glory

Stop.

A Precious Gift

If you know me, you know I'm an avid garage sale shopper, and you've also heard me say that 100 times. :) You just never know what you'll find at a garage sale.  That's why I so enjoy them.

A few weeks ago, I found this little treasure:

http://www.amazon.com/Favorite-Childhood-Childrens-Thrift-Classics/dp/0486270890

When I perused it's pages upon returning home, several little ditties jumped out at me, many of which I had heard my grandparents recite as a child.  One of them was the poem, "Trees," by Joyce Kilmer.

Trees

I think that I shall never see

A poem so lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest

Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day, 

And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that in Summer may wear

A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;

Who  intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me, 

But only God can make a tree. 

I told my grandma about the book yesterday, and she promptly quoted the above from memory.  There's something absolutely wonderful about being able to share such a joy with one's grandmother.  Generations separate us, but a beautifully written word joins us seamlessly.  What a precious gift.  

Mama, Mama What Do You See?

It's Five Minute Friday with The Gypsy Mama, and the word is see.  We write for five minutes flat and leave it on the page.  We don't worry about perfection or editing or anything.  We just write what bubbles up from beneath the surface and share it with the world.

Go.

Mama, mama what do you see?

I see a 4 year old little boy looking at me.

I see a newborn looking at me.

I see a 3 month old, a 6 month old, a one year old, a 2 year old, a 3 year old...

I see that little blob on the screen that gave us no doubt he was a boy, and the place on the ultrasound picture where the doctor labeled 'boy' as if our eyes could be that untrained (ha!).  Just in case I guess...

I see a 10 year old, a teenager, a man looking at me.  I see a father looking at me....wondering where he came from, how a tiny mass of cells will likely become all of these things and more...this little leach that grew inside me for 10 months, at 2 weeks late induced.

I see the world's best big brother.  I see a mirror image of his daddy's frame.  I see blonde hair that doesn't match mine (and hopefully never will...).

I see a sweet, strong willed, lovable, at times affectionate, stubborn, talkative, inquisitive, independent soon to be 4 year old looking at me...and I just want to wrap him up and keep him somewhere safe forever....

That's what I see.

Stop.

Update: Morning Routine

It's been a while since I updated on our morning routine.  We've been through some changes lately that I think have really helped us stay on track, so I'm very thankful.  Here's what it looks like currently:

• Breakfast/Bible reading w/ Daddy before he leaves for work

• Move to the living room for Bible memory (and a portion of the rest of our routine).  We are still doing Ephesians chapter 6 and I am amazed at how far we've come!  We are still doing roughly one verse per week and adding to the rest and have come to a place where we can't say the whole thing too many times or I lose the kids.  That's great though - it shows how far we've progressed, and we just keep going!  I am amazed at what little sponges their brains are.

• We then sing a hymn or 2 (or 3 or 4 if the kids want to).  If it's longer and older, with more complicated language, we just do one verse per week till they get it.  That way we can practice it a lot.  We just got finished with "Immortal Invisible God Only Wise" and we are currently working on "We Gather Together."  I honestly wasn't sure how this would go at first, but the kids love it, and the 2 1/2 year old can be heard around the house loudly singing words I wasn't sure she'd even be able to say at this age.  I'm sure she can't comprehend much, but now she'll never forget some wonderful truths, and the message will become clear one day.

• Next we move to the kitchen where we talk about the weather outside and the day/date.  It only took about a week for both kids to pretty much know what day it is when asked now.  Again, I'm amazed at how quickly they learn!  We have a 'days of the week' song that goes w/ the Adams Family theme song that they love.  Sometimes we add in different voices and it's one big hit all around. : )

• After that we turn on the timer for our clean up time and get going.  I'm still working on training them, particularly the 2 yo what it means to work until the timer goes off, but she is getting there and learning that this is a non-negotiable part of our day.  

• Once we finish with clean up, we head back to the living room for a story time, which has, for now, replaced reading lessons.  The almost 4 yo really is doing quite well with reading, but he's just been fairly uninterested lately and I don't believe in pushing it at this age.  He is using the skills he has in his environment, and that's honestly so great that I don't mind if he's uninterested in formality right now.  I figure his little brain is working a lot on loads of things, and I don't want to spoil his love for learning or stress him out.  Besides, he's getting practice without even realizing it. : )

Attitudes and Pushback:


This was something I expected to a certain degree, especially since the concept of a morning routine is so new for the kids, even if we have been doing it for a few months now.  There have been (a couple) days where I got so frustrated I chucked the whole thing, but I always go back to it.  I think a couple things were interacting here:

1. The 2 yo is just that.  She wants to do what she wants to do and not what she's told.  She's Miss Independent these days, and a routine 'stifles' her.  Let's just say she's really learning to obey through this routine, and thankfully, she is getting it.

I wondered if this was too much for her, but I have decided for the most part that it's not.  I don't expect her to do every little thing perfectly or even barely participate in some things.  The only thing I do require is that she learn that she may not be a distraction when her brother is trying to pay attention.

2. The strong willed 4 yo is really thriving on the routine.  Yes, there are times he'd rather I put it off, but once we get into it he's right there and taking much responsibility for it most of the time.  It has been a joy to see him blossom, as well as keep his mischievous little brain out of trouble.

3.  There are days when, honestly, I don't want to do this.  I know we thrive off of a routine but I have never been one to give myself much of one. I get frustrated at the pushback and want to give in. In the past, I did what I wanted to do when I felt I needed or wanted to do it.  I am not giving up though, and I know this is a necessary and fruitful thing for all of us even if there are times when we don't see it.

All of that to say...we are forging ahead and learning lots along the way.  I am actually starting to see some glimmers as to how we will handle home schooling in the near future, and actually be able to make it through the day.  I am also considering officially pre schooling the kids at home this fall.  I think it would be a good exercise for all of us, but more on that another time.

God Hears

God did something cool in our family this last week, and I just want to share and give him praise for hearing what seemed at the time to be a seemingly small and not very significant prayer.

We take our kids to a local family sporting event every Friday evening in the summer.  Yesterday was our second week.  It is a ton of fun, but it's not at a great time.  For our family, it's  right in the middle of our dinner hour.  The husband gets off of work at 5, and when he gets home, we need to head out and get over to the track.  By the time we get back home, it's almost bed time. For this reason, we decided that we would pick up something quick and semi healthy for dinner afterwards.  That way, I don't have to maneuver so much between getting kiddos and dinner ready to go at the same time, and figuring out what we can have that will be satisfying and good to eat immediately upon walking in the door.

However, this particular month has a few extra days tacked onto our bi-weekly cash budget.  You see, we budget some restaurant money every month and stick it in an envelope as part of our envelope system (Dave Ramsey style).  This way, we can limit how much we eat out and how much we spend, because we know sometimes it's just going to happen. We have to budget very carefully this summer if we plan to do Subway every Friday evening.

Only this time we ran out.  Oops.  Here's the thing: when that happens, that's it - no extra spending unless absolutely necessary.

So what's a frugal mama to do?  I prayed that God would somehow work it out.  I sent up an arrow prayer and left it at that.

In actuality, I had practically forgotten about it, even when a coupon for a free take out meal from a local restaurant showed up in the mail a couple days later.  Sweet! We rejoiced - we had a simple, free, and filling option!  It wasn't the most healthy meal, but it could have been worse, and there it was.  Thanks God!

It honestly wasn't until last night after I picked up the meal and was preparing to serve it to my family that I remembered my prayer.  I immediately told my family, "You know what?  I have had a secret this week, and I'm going to share it with you now.  Listen to what God did!" So of course I relayed to them the above story.

Praise the LORD!  He cares about even the small, seemingly insignificant details of our lives.  What a precious reminder to lay all our cares before him.

"Cast your cares upon the Lord, for he cares for you..." 1 Peter 5: 7

5 Minute Friday: Opportunity

I'm linking up this morning with The Gypsy Mama.  "Around here" as they say, we write for 5 minutes flat on whatever comes to mind: no stopping or editing.  Just a free flow from thought to finger tips.  The word today is opportunity.  Go.

I missed an opportunity: saw a sign with too many words to slow down, but read quickly.  

I did my thing, went to pay and she informed me of an opportunity: to financially bless a family, a child, in need.

I did my "Christian" thing and added $5 to my order, smiled, and walked away - not knowing what to say, but at least I did the right thing, right?

Like I needed the rest of that 'miscellaneous' (read: coffee cash) in the first place.

Looking back, I know, deep in my heart: I could have, should have stopped.  Listened.  Learned.  Blessed.  With my heart, ears, mind, soul, strength.  An opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and looking back, I know: I missed it.  

If I had only been a little more mindful. 

Lord, forgive me.  Help me to see the hurting mom who needs more than just my money (and could have used a bit more of it), but YOU, the You I could have offered, and somehow...I missed the opportunity to die to myself.

Stop.

Salin' Saturday!

If you know me, that does not mean "salin' " on the water.  You also know then, that I am an absolute sucker for a good garage sale, full of great deals...or a few good sales...ahem. : )

Anyway, I got some fun things today so I decided to share:

 Most of this is for my brother's upcoming wedding. My future sister in law asked me to help her collect the glassware that come through our house.  While she didn't ask me to look at sales, how could I possibly resist another reason to head out with a friend on a beautiful Saturday morning?

 Felt dolls w/ accessories for the kiddos...need I say more?  Perfect for use w/ the felt board we made a few months back and hopefully hours of fun for the kids. : )

 Todays book finds: The Tale of Despereaux - a great chapter book that we'll save for the future, and 90 Minutes in Heaven, which I've heard good things about.

Finally, I was just thinking the other day that we could use a new shower curtain liner and found this brand new and unopened one for $0.50 - score!

Trying Something New: Posting a Few Goals for the Week

I'm not sure whether I'll continue to do this in the future or not, but I thought I'd give it a shot for now in hopes to keep myself more accountable. It worked really well w/ the '4 Weeks to a More Organized Home' challenge so why not with other things?  I'll try to update the list at the end of the week to see how I did.

Here are a few goals for my upcoming week, in no particular order:

1. Research summer activities for kids, ie: VBS, sports activity, free local events.

2. Continue with my organizing and purging.  This week: upstairs closets and kids' clothes.

3. Give Hubby a hair cut.

4. (Possibly) get/give (?) the little girl a hair cut.

5. Make a meal for some friends in need.

6. Get to the Y at least twice and take walks with the kids on 3 or 4 other days.

7. Look into birthday party site for the almost 4 yo.

8. Make a decision about the possibility of an early anniversary camping trip.

9. Get back into the swing w/ reading lessons.

10. Continue reading books I have been working on/look into purchasing or borrowing a few others on my list to read.

11. Call a friend I have been meaning to catch up with.

Bemidji, MN: Who'd a Thunk It?

I finally got up to Bemidji, MN to visit my younger sister.  Granted, it was 2 (3?) years later for her graduation, but at least I made it.  I traveled out of Chicago with my older sister, and we met our parents there.

I can honestly say I loved it, and could definitely see myself going back there.  This little town in the reason why I say I'm a small town girl: you just never know what you're going to get.  Of course, every place has its own personality, but there is something about the hidden treasure in a small town that I somehow identify with.   I honestly just feel...at home away from home.  Here are some pictures of the weekend to show you what I mean.

A town most people have never even heard of, and yet it was the first city on the Mississippi!

Love, love, love this store!  You just can't find a place like this anywhere else.

Seriously, isn't that store front just begging you to walk in and stay a while?

 Bemidji is apparently big on local artistry.  My kiddos loved this picture of the bicycle guy.

 If you can't read that well, it says that Bemidj, MN is the curling capital of the world.  See what I mean?  Who'd a thunk it?  Not that I happen to know anything about curling...

 These last pictures are the beautiful young graduate's college campus.  Who wouldn't want to go to college in the middle of the woods on a (couple of) lake(s)?! Smart choice, Little Sis.

Last but not least, I got to meet Paul and Babe!












This my friends, is why I consider myself a small town girl.  While shopping has it's place, who wants to throw money away at a shopping mall when you can stomp around a unique little town for an afternoon?

Five Minute Friday: Identity

 It's Five Minute Friday with The Gypsy Mama again.  We write for five solid minutes without stopping or going back to edit.  We take a risk - writing what comes first and leaving it on the page for all to see.  Today's word is: identity.

Go.

I remember quoting the Apostles' Creed every Sunday at Covenant Fellowship Church back in college.  That pretty much says it when we're talking identity.  It's all right there in one little package, and I loved the...rote memory, beauty, deep affection, truth, and intensity of the words repeated week after week that to some might sound...weak, weird, awkward, just plain repetitive.  So many churches have gotten away from things like that because they don't want to be 'old fashioned.'  I loved the weekly reminder of who I am in Christ.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
    the Maker of heaven and earth,
    and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:
Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost,
    born of the virgin Mary,
    suffered under Pontius Pilate,
    was crucified, dead, and buried;
He descended into hell.
The third day He arose again from the dead;
He ascended into heaven,
    and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty;
    from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Ghost;
    the holy catholic church;
    the communion of saints;
    the forgiveness of sins;
    the resurrection of the body;
    and the life everlasting.
Amen.

I'm a wife, a mother, a friend, a daughter, a Midwestern small town girl, but at the end of the day, underneath it all...this is the most important thing about me, and whatever happens it will never change.

Stop.

Randomness

Just some random thoughts for tonight...

1. What made me think of the title of this post, re: random.  The little boy called something random today.  It wasn't truly random, but in his schema I guess it fit because the use of the word and his reasoning for it all made sense, even if he was wrong.  Craziness.  My little boy is turning 4 soon and doing all kinds of amazing things: learning to read, new vocabulary, teaching his little sister new things, growing in Christ, sleeping a ton (growth spurt?!), and last but not least becoming a good worker - always looking and willing to help with pretty much anything around the house.  It's an incredible blessing watching this young man unfold before my eyes.  I know he's still a little boy, but it's all going by so fast it just feels like he'll be a man before I know it.  I guess we mamas do this with our children's birthdays, but man...I'm just remembering a ton about his infancy lately.  Where did it go....???? I miss it like crazy but that's okay - I am one proud mama.

2. Speaking of babies, the little girl is really into being a baby lately.  She loves to be 'cradled' and have Mama or Daddy sing "Rock a Bye Baby" to her.  I think she's going to be pretty jealous if there is ever another baby introduced to this family.

3. We purchased a mini van for the first time this week!  We looked a while back but then circumstances changed, and we decided not to get one at that time.  However for a few months now we've been thinking maybe we should revisit the idea, and then decided to go ahead and start looking in the month of May.  Ha!  Sometimes God swings a door wide open I guess.  Monday morning I test drove one from a dealer, deciding that I liked that brand.  Monday afternoon, the first one Hubby checked out on Craigslist was in our price range and in line w/ our other necessary qualifications: mileage, year, make/model, etc.  A couple of hours later he was test driving it.  The next morning our mechanic gave it a once over and told us it was a great deal.  It was in our possession by the end of the morning.  Talk about an answer to prayer!

4. Speaking of an answer to prayer, this whole situation has been such a great lesson for our kids.  They prayed with us on Monday as we asked God to make his plan clear to us.  I quoted Proverbs 16:9, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."  We talked about how God has a plan for everything in our lives, and he would open the door if this van was meant for us.  Then they watched God do just that.  Since we got it a couple days ago now, they've been saying to Hubby, "Thank you for our van, Daddy!"  To which he has replied, "God gave it to us.  It was part of his plan. You should thank Him for the van." So they do, just like that: "Thank you God for our van!"  Faith like a child...

5. Finally, I said this post was going to be random.  I found TWO yolks in ONE egg the other day!  How cool is that?!  I have heard of this happening before, but I had never seen it until now.  I scooped out the extra yolk and continued with my brownie making.  Oddly enough they came out a very different texture than I remember.  It had been a while since I made that kind, but I wonder if removing the yolk had something to do with it...did I remove too much of the white as well?  Or did it not have as much egg white?  I have no clue, but they still tasted amazing so it was all good in the end.

I'll have to post pictures later, but I can't sleep so I figured I'd do a little updating here.  I've been in Bemidji, MN for the weekend with my family for my little sister's graduation.  What a fun, beautiful, and unique 'little' town.  I use the quotes because it's actually pretty big...but has a smallish population (roughly 5,000-11,000, depending on college student population at different times of the year).  Anyway, if nothing else, this post is a reminder for me to tell you a little about what I've been up to this weekend.  I learned some fun facts about Bemidji and have really enjoyed my time here.  I also didn't realize how beautiful Minnesota is.  It only confirmed that deep down, I'm truly a small town kinda girl.  Now if only I could go back up to my hotel room and get some shut eye before my bright and early flight back to good ol' IL...

5 Minute Friday: Real

It's 5 Minute Friday again with The Gypsy Mama.  We write non stop for 5 minutes, just letting the words flow - no editing.  Today's prompt is: real.

Go...!

Real.  We read The Velveteen Rabbit a couple of times the last few weeks.  My children are young, but I was thinking that they are getting old enough (at least the 4 yo), to listen a little bit longer to a story.  After revisiting this wonderful book from my childhood, it's number one on my list to add to our home library.  It's such a sweet story w/ some good lessons.  Talk about a living book.

Real: emotions.  I'm leaving this weekend for a trip to see my family in Minnesota for my little sister's graduation.  It's going to be a great weekend to celebrate her accomplishments.  I love her so much and am very proud of her.  I'm so thankful my husband is helping me be able to celebrate her this weekend, taking care of the kids.

Speaking of kids, my oldest apparently is having a rough time w/ Mama leaving.  I didn't realize it till last night when someone suggested his off behavior this week might be caused by that.  Duh, Mom.  I'm a little sad that I didn't realize it before, but at least I did.  When I asked him if that was it, he was totally disarmed and broke down.  My largely un-affectionate little boy rarely shows such real, raw emotion, well that way anyway.  It took me aback, but I'm so thankful it came out.  I was able to encourage him and remind him of my love for him.  I think it's also good for him to see my willingness to sacrifice the time to love my sister, even though he probably doesn't really understand it yet.  After that, we had some real conversation laying in his bed.  We talked of spiritual things and life, and were just...real together.  This is the stuff mommy-hood is made of.

Stop.
Confession: that was 7 minutes, but I couldn't stop the flow of thought to fingertips.: )

Update: 4 Weeks to a More Organized Home

Disclaimer:
1.(You probably already know this about me by now, but) I am no photographer, nor do I plan on becoming any better any time soon.  It's just not a priority - thanks for understanding. : )

2. I am continuing to do this series because so many of you commented, on here and in real life, that you were inspired and wanted to see more.  Really?  You want to see MORE of my junk?!  Well, you asked for it.  Now go, yes you, when you are finished reading this - get off your hiney and go do some of your own cleaning and organizing.  I know I'm not the only one w/ toddlers to blame on my mess!

3. The closet edition (see below) wasn't exactly the assignment that Crystal gave, but this closet has been begging for attention for months now.  So, I went ahead and did a major overhaul.

 This was window/window coverings cleaning day. These vertical blinds had been staring me down for quite some time now.

I was initially disappointed on this day because I had sprained my ankle (again - boo!) the day before and  was thinking I wouldn't get to exercise that day.  Boy was I wrong!  TMI comin' at ya: I was dripping buckets of sweat after cleaning these bad boys! Even though they weren't that bad, I sure got a killer arm work out from this project.

 There was 4 years' worth of medicine cabinet build up.  Prescriptions, and cold meds, and empty containers (why?) - oh my!

(There should be another picture here, but I realized  that it had some old prescription labels in it so I will not post it, though I did remove them prior to disposal, fyi).






Closet Makeover Edition:

 Before:
Everything kinda, sorta looks all put away and organized...(woops, side ways picture)

 Not too bad, right?

 Right...?

 Uh...

 No...not really...

 Midway through:
What?

After:
 Okay, getting better...

Hey! I know what goes up there now.

 Sigh of relief...

Organized!

 See?!

 Ahhh

Yes, I am ashamed to admit it, but there it is: a garbage bag full of stuff that was not worth keeping, much less giving away.











Upcoming:
Finishing my closets, the few assignments I missed during this project, and a few thing I've been inspired to do as a result of the motivation I received from Money Saving Mom's challenge.

5 Minute Friday: Community

It's 5 Minute Friday with The Gypsy Mama again.  We write for 5 minutes on the prompted word for the day without stopping and with no editing.  Today's word is: community.

Go!

I cannot think of the word 'community' without a host of memories from my childhood at Community Bible Church.  We started going there when I was 11, but to me it feels like it was my whole childhood.  CBC truly is a community of Christ followers.  Having been gone for about 10 years now, I still get surrounded by loving faces every single time I return (which sadly these days is less and less).  This body of believers truly taught me what it was to live in community - whether it was our crazy youth group 'stupid' Alan games made up by our creative youth pastor, or everybody's adopted grandparents, I'll call them, "Mr. and Mrs. R."  CBC isn't and wasn't just a place to 'do' church, but it was the hands and feet and heart of Jesus to a rebellious teenager.  They were my cheerleaders the day Pastor Tim baptized  me in the river, and the days they sent me off...to college, to Mexico, and later on to marriage.  Community Bible Church, you will always hold a special place in my heart.

Stop.

Update: 4 More Weeks to a More Organized Home

I haven't done so well with the pictures these last few days, but that is because I have been working like a madwoman to get this project from Money Saving Mom done!  Here are some pictures from the last few days' projects:

 I almost forgot to snap a 'before' picture, so this was mid-way.  Apparently my oven REALLY needed this!

 Almost done...

 Ahhh!!!  Half a box of baking soda, probably a few gallons of water, lots of elbow grease, and a little over an hour later...isn't she perty?!

 I forgot the before picture here...but look at my clean cabinets!  To be honest, I rarely even wipe down the upper cabinets because I guess I figure they don't get as much splatter as the rest.  Well...

Look at the handsome man I found to help me clean the top of the fridge! For the record, I did what I could, but unfortunately even standing on a chair doesn't do too much for a shortie like me.  Even Hubby had to stand on a chair for this one.  (Mom was right when she told me I'd  marry a tall one ; ).

 ...here's the evidence on my rag.  That's from the top and bottom, but they sure needed that if this is what my 'white' rag looked like at the end of it. (Ahem, this rag didn't start out perfectly white to begin with by the way...)

 Again, I forgot my 'before' pictures from the inside of my cabinets, but you can see I got rid of a ton of stuff.  Not pictured is a bunch more stuff that isn't used on even a monthly basis but is still needed every now and then.  That pile found a new home on a storage shelf in the basement.

 And now for some other stuff I've been getting rid of...

This was my '7 things to get rid of' pile from yesterday.  I cleaned out a drawer in a closet.  Yes, I am getting rid of my brushes because I no longer brush my hair (that is still so very weird to say, but that's a long story for another day...)









So I have to admit, it's been pretty nice hearing my husband compliment me on all the hard work I've been doing from this project lately.  Has anyone in your house noticed your re-doubled efforts?

I don't know about you, but all this hard work reminds me of a day I'm going to really enjoy celebrating this year, as a result of all this along with everything else that's been going on...yep shameless admission coming right at ya:  I am SO looking forward to Mother's Day and getting spoiled by my hubby and kids.  I have to admit: when it comes to stuff like this and showing appreciation, I have the best man on the planet.  He knows I work hard and appreciates my efforts to care for our home and children.  (Clarification: I am not doing this to  be spoiled, but who doesn't enjoy the added bonus every now and then? : )

Speaking of Mother's Day, head on over to The Gypsy Mama and check out her sweet list of gift ideas!  I know I was definitely inspired by it, and I think my mom is going to flip when she sees what she's getting.

Update: Morning Routines

Well, after about 3 or 4 weeks (I don't remember when exactly we got started), our morning routine is well under way.  I started with just a couple of simple things that were really 'set in stone' (get dressed/breakfast and Bible, then clean up) and have added 1 or 2 new things every week.  I will be honest: my kids wondered what planet we were on at first.  However, after a few weeks of consistency (read: resolve and obedience to the Lord) from me, they have pretty much come to know what to expect and genuinely enjoy our daily routine.  Here's what it looks like presently:

1. Get up/dressed.

2. Eat breakfast/read the word and pray as a family (note the change: Daddy has taken over this part and we do it during breakfast, instead of after. This has been a phenomenal change in the plan. There is just something about Daddy leading Bible that works so well, and of course I have my theories for why that's so, but I digress).

3. After breakfast (when Hubby is headed to work), we head to the living room and do Bible memory.  We are currently working on Ephesians 6, which is going very well.  Yes, even 2 and 3 year olds can memorize passages of scripture! : ) We also sing a new hymn/song of praise every week.

4. I then look around the main living areas and assess the level of straightening up that needs to be done.  Based on that, I set the kitchen timer for 5-15 minutes and we all get to work.  This is largely a training session right now, but the children are catching on well and doing a great job.  They are even helping me clean the kitchen floor once a week (I 'mop' on my hands and knees with a rag since we have a small kitchen).

5. After cleanup, we do a reading lesson for the almost-4 year old and sometimes a letter lesson for the 2 y.o. if she wants (because she sometimes asks).  I try to keep it no more than 15 minutes.

6. The next part depends on the day.  Sometimes we may have plans with friends or errands to run and so we'll get ready to go. Other days we may  have a variety of activities to do around the house such as: games, free play, crafts, tactile/kinesthetic toys (playdough, bendy sticks, do a dots, etc), play outside, and of course a snack. Most days, it's a combination of many of these things - sometimes changing every 5 minutes (no joke!).

7. Late morning we do another quick clean up and have lunch.  Then it's off to nap time routine and a much needed couple of quiet hours for everyone.

Next week, I hope to add some discussion about the weather and calendar.  We'll see how that goes.

Together: For Eternity

I'm linking up with Gypsy Mama's 5 Minute Friday again today.  The word is: together.  Go!

We had the best conversation together yesterday.  My almost 4 year old initiated the conversation of a lifetime.  Though he is young I have mourned over his sin time and again because he is very strong willed and at times just has not seemed to get it no matter what I do.  So the prayer God has given me these last few months has been the same it has been his whole life, though more fervently:  LORD, please save this child.  Convict him of sin and give him new life in Christ.  He needs you God.  This is your child, on loan to me in covenant.

In my desperation, he heard my cry of a few weeks ago...and promised me this child's salvation through Psalm 20.  I knew with all my heart this was God's affirmation - I just didn't know when it would come to pass.

Now I utter the words in my heart...oh ye of little faith...

For several days now he's been asking questions, figuring things out, gaining understanding...we have entered the question stage.

Then yesterday, quite by surprise...he did his fact checking.  He wanted to be sure he really understood everything...

"So Jesus is God's son?"

"Jesus died on the cross for my sins?"

"Jesus is the way to heaven right Mama?"

"Trust and obey Jesus, Mama...right?"

Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  YES!


"Do you believe that?"


"Yes Mama, I believe that."


I asked some clarifying questions...and he knelt down of his own accord...putting his faith to action as he said...Mama, I need to tell Jesus I'm sorry because I was naughty this morning, and the most heartfelt, simple, honest, humble prayer of repentance poured forth and I knew in my heart.

We had a family party last night to celebrate, just as all heaven is doing now - for one sinner who has repented and come to faith in Christ!  Thank you God! - for I am certain - he will be TOGETHER with you for eternity.  Together just doesn't get any better than that.