The Lord is showing me, as he often does, that life is really all about perspective. Lately, this lesson has been given to me in heaps of reminders of where I come from, where I am today, and where I could be otherwise, if not for the perspective that he gave others and used to bless little old me.
When I was little, the church my parents married in was ripped in 2 by false doctrine, literally split down the middle between those that were true followers of Christ and those that had been fooled by lesser things. My parents and others were betrayed by those they considered to be the dearest of friends. The pain trickled down into the marrow of our family life, joined with other difficulties, and life suddenly got very challenging for our family of 6. It is only by the grace of God that our family was not also ripped in 2, though many times it sure felt like it was for all of us, as we seemingly hung by the tiniest thread for a number of years to follow. Thankfully, Jesus had sewn that thread, and he was not about to let the evil one undo his work. Looking back I can see the legions of angels in the spiritual battle that would try to take our family, but God always draws the line in the sand and Satan was not allowed to go that far.
For many years, our family somehow survived on one often-too-small-for-all-of-us vehicle while my dad worked 2 or 3 jobs, attending college classes part time, and Mom often worked full time. We went to church with our mom on Sundays, but we were rarely able to participate in other activities mid week; it just wasn't possible. Needless to say, life was rough from the rising to the setting of the sun, not to mention in between.
In the midst of that long season, the Lord used many who had a proper
perspective of his kingdom to keep the weakest of sheep in his fold.
Many of them were aware of the work they were doing, and others simply
obeyed their Father's command to love the unlovable, sacrificing for
someone else's well-being above their own.
One such woman had 2 little girls roughly my sister's and my ages, and the door was always (and I do mean always) open for us to come over and play. We were fed well, provided with encouragement, a place to be kids, and were often given rides to and from our culturally mixed neighborhood on the "wrong" side of town (In God's economy I don't think there is a wrong side of town, but that's for another day). We even lived with them for a week once when our family home had a house fire and we were forced to move out for a short time.
Years later, my dad's hard work paid off with graduation, one full time job, and a second, desperately needed vehicle. We were finally able to not just attend a church, but be a part of it. We found a place to call a church home, but the challenge was still working it's way through our family and Satan was not done with us yet. For many reasons, there was still a lack of peace inside our home, but once again God came through for the least of these. He provided not just one but two family friends who also had an open door policy whenever it was needed, not to mention countless others with listening ears, as well as hands and feet of the gospel in various ways (like providing work to earn money for summer church camps).
It is because of people like this that I know where I am spending eternity today. The Lord showed me his love in contrast to my sinfulness in the midst of all this and saved me. The people mentioned above were all part of showing me the love of Christ in a way I couldn't deny it. Many of them were not aware of it at the time. They were just loving the unlovable, hands and feet in motion. They were priceless servants of the King doing what they do, and he used it to convict me, draw me to my knees in repentance, and save me at the age of 12.
I am amazed at the way God still uses those events to shape my life today. I could just call it part of my past, but he reminds me of it in unexpected times and places and uses it to convict me of how I should be living my life in the present. When I give in to old patterns of the world and forget his love for me, he often uses my past to remind me of who I am, where I come from. When he asks me to do something that seems like too much, I have his trophies of grace to remind me that many people (more than those that I recounted above), were also asked to do what may have at times seemed like 'too much.' Yet, are simple sacrifices too much to ask for if they mean the gain of a soul to the kingdom? God reminds me that it wasn't for my friends, it wasn't for Jesus, and it shouldn't be for me either.
Therefore I turn to him in thanksgiving, repentance for my self serving heart, and with a renewed willingness to watch, listen, and act when I am called upon. Even when I'm tired. Even when I feel like the only one. Even when it seems like too much. Even when I don't understand it. It just may be a small part of the cost of a soul for the sake of eternity, I just never know.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Awkward/Awesome
I got this idea from my dear friend Haley over at Creative Roots. She does it every Friday, but I've been lacking in posts lastely so I thought I'd do this for a quick and fun read for whoever cares.
Awkward:
1. We had a rough morning today so we missed the first week of story hour that we signed up for at the library, and it wasn't related to sickness. I don't like committing to something and not following through, but that sometimes happens with kids.
2. I was flooded with emotion as I was reminded of a difficult situation from years ago in my past earlier this week. The topic was part of a group discussion, and no one was aware of my previous experiences until I chose to share them. It was definitely awkward to hear people reacting to a situation as those 'on the outside looking in.' (It also made me aware of being careful not to judge someone in a situation I have not personally experienced, though that is not what was happening in this particular discussion, just to clarify.)
3. Attempting to turn onto my busy street from another busy street, and then get into the right lane so I can get into my drive way less than a block down. This is often both awkward as well as a bit risky.
Awesome:
1. Part time home schooling my son in Kindergarten is just plain awesome. He loves it and so do I.
2. My school year Tuesday morning Bible study has started again. It's that time of year again to study the Word in depth w/ a group of women, build new relationships, and continue growing old ones.
3. Our small group at church has the 4th week 'off' but the church provides childcare so parents can have a date night w/ low cost (possibly free!) babysitting. That's incredibly awesome! We also eat dinner together when we meet. This reminds me of my college days and I think speaks of good fellowship and bonding ahead for our group.
Awkward:
1. We had a rough morning today so we missed the first week of story hour that we signed up for at the library, and it wasn't related to sickness. I don't like committing to something and not following through, but that sometimes happens with kids.
2. I was flooded with emotion as I was reminded of a difficult situation from years ago in my past earlier this week. The topic was part of a group discussion, and no one was aware of my previous experiences until I chose to share them. It was definitely awkward to hear people reacting to a situation as those 'on the outside looking in.' (It also made me aware of being careful not to judge someone in a situation I have not personally experienced, though that is not what was happening in this particular discussion, just to clarify.)
3. Attempting to turn onto my busy street from another busy street, and then get into the right lane so I can get into my drive way less than a block down. This is often both awkward as well as a bit risky.
Awesome:
1. Part time home schooling my son in Kindergarten is just plain awesome. He loves it and so do I.
2. My school year Tuesday morning Bible study has started again. It's that time of year again to study the Word in depth w/ a group of women, build new relationships, and continue growing old ones.
3. Our small group at church has the 4th week 'off' but the church provides childcare so parents can have a date night w/ low cost (possibly free!) babysitting. That's incredibly awesome! We also eat dinner together when we meet. This reminds me of my college days and I think speaks of good fellowship and bonding ahead for our group.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" - but not because Joshua Harris Said So: Introduction
Hi there! It's been a while since I last posted. We have had a busy summer so far and so I've taken a break from blogging the last several weeks. The last week or so, I have considered coming back on, but I wasn't sure what to write about other than a few random life updates on our family. That was until...
A friend recently posted an article about the dangers of emotional purity and courtship. I read the article and was immediately saddened, so much so that I have decided to write about my personal experience to explain why it does not have to be dangerous or damaging. The original article that prompted my desire to share my (our, ie my and my husband's) story can be found here. In this initial post I will address some of the common critiques that are found in said article, but for full disclosure this is not really an argument in response to the previously mentioned piece. I don't feel that I can challenge someone else's negative experiences, and I will not be judgmental of how they have responded to being affected negatively by the idea of courtship (and/or those who have imposed it on them).
However, I do believe that I can share from a different perspective and possibly shed some light as to why I don't think that the idea of courtship is, in general, unhealthy or damaging. In fact, I wholeheartedly believe it can well be quite the opposite: both healthy and healing. To be clear, the upcoming series of posts on this topic will be personal and from my own experiences and perspective, as well as the perspectives of those whom I have observed go about this process in a God-honoring way (ie: I may ask a couple of friends to guest post from their experiences as well).
To answer some common critiques, here's what you will not find in this series:
P.S. As previously mentioned, this series is not really meant to be an argument, so the above critiques mentioned will likely be the only time they are mentioned. It is rather (hopefully) to be read as a testimony of God's grace in our lives. I mentioned them as a sort of disclosure in order to explain to the reader what is not in my thinking as I share our story.
A friend recently posted an article about the dangers of emotional purity and courtship. I read the article and was immediately saddened, so much so that I have decided to write about my personal experience to explain why it does not have to be dangerous or damaging. The original article that prompted my desire to share my (our, ie my and my husband's) story can be found here. In this initial post I will address some of the common critiques that are found in said article, but for full disclosure this is not really an argument in response to the previously mentioned piece. I don't feel that I can challenge someone else's negative experiences, and I will not be judgmental of how they have responded to being affected negatively by the idea of courtship (and/or those who have imposed it on them).
However, I do believe that I can share from a different perspective and possibly shed some light as to why I don't think that the idea of courtship is, in general, unhealthy or damaging. In fact, I wholeheartedly believe it can well be quite the opposite: both healthy and healing. To be clear, the upcoming series of posts on this topic will be personal and from my own experiences and perspective, as well as the perspectives of those whom I have observed go about this process in a God-honoring way (ie: I may ask a couple of friends to guest post from their experiences as well).
To answer some common critiques, here's what you will not find in this series:
- An attitude that states something to the effect of: single men and women (boys and girls) cannot and should not be friends because it is unhealthy.
- Courtship is the only God-honoring method of finding a mate.
- Parents must (or should) 'arrange' said courtship.
- A person/s is/are non-marriage material if they take part in a courtship or dating experience that fails in leading toward marriage.
- A person who does not believe in courtship is overly flirtatious.
- A person who believes in 'dating' rather than 'courting' (or some form thereof) is not serious about finding a God-honoring husband/wife.
- Courtship is an old fashioned, legalistic and rule-based idea that parents set upon their children out of fear. (Some may, but like anything, there will always be extremes.)
- Basically any other idea that is part of a legalistic set of rules. Fill in the blank - you've probably heard of (or assumed) a few of your own in regard to courtship.
P.S. As previously mentioned, this series is not really meant to be an argument, so the above critiques mentioned will likely be the only time they are mentioned. It is rather (hopefully) to be read as a testimony of God's grace in our lives. I mentioned them as a sort of disclosure in order to explain to the reader what is not in my thinking as I share our story.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Strong Willed Children: A Couple of Links I Have Been Meaning to Share
I originally started this blog as one means of getting out some stress related to being the mother of a strong willed child. I have tried again and again to write something that reflects the challenges, at the same time keeping a positive spin and not just being a big internet whiner. Unfortunately, I just haven't felt like I've yet been able to put the right words down that would be honest, helpful, or edifying. I do feel I have a balanced perspective (most days), but the tough ones do still cloud my thinking from time to time, and I just don't always know how to share my heart with out feeling overly vulnerable and misunderstood. Thus, I have heretofore refrained from discussing my personal struggle (and even now I simply admit it's there).
However, I have come across some other bloggers who have done a fabulous job of sharing their own struggles of late. They have challenged me and made me feel that I am not alone on this path. So, instead of sharing my own mixed bag of woes, challenges, joys, and (hard won) accomplishments...for now I'll just not try to re-invent the wheel and post others' more well put together thoughts here.
If you are the mother of a strong willed child and need encouragement today, or if you know parents of a strong willed child and simply want to understand their struggle, check out the links below.
However, I have come across some other bloggers who have done a fabulous job of sharing their own struggles of late. They have challenged me and made me feel that I am not alone on this path. So, instead of sharing my own mixed bag of woes, challenges, joys, and (hard won) accomplishments...for now I'll just not try to re-invent the wheel and post others' more well put together thoughts here.
If you are the mother of a strong willed child and need encouragement today, or if you know parents of a strong willed child and simply want to understand their struggle, check out the links below.
- Wise words and encouragement for the road you're on: http://thechristianpundit.org/2012/06/04/parenting-a-strong-willed-child/
- Honest words relating the difficulty, coupled with wisdom for the daily grind: http://www.1plus1plus1equals1.net/2012/06/the-perfect-catalyst/
If you are in this place with me, I sincerely hope and pray the Lord blesses and challenges you with these words as he has used them to bless me. I don't know about you, but it's so helpful just to know I am not the only mother on the planet who struggles to be the right kind of mom for her strong willed child.
3 Cheers for The Curly Girl Handbook!
Okay, I'm not going to bore you with the details (see my Facebook page under my post about the baking soda fail if you know me and are really curious), but I will say how much I love The Curly Girl Handbook! I was lamenting all of my recent hair woes with a friend several weeks back, because I heard she had been using the baking soda wash for a while, when she told me about the book. At first I was not too excited because I have seen their very, very confusing website - which can be helpful but is also not well organized.
Anyway, thank God for the book! There is a whole section for each kind of curl type with detailed instructions on how to care for your curls, including a dvd with video instructions. This is not going to be an all around review, but let me just say how normal I felt after reading this book! For years, people have looked at me kind of screwy when I tell them that my hair is actually more curly than not - especially the various hair dressers I've been to. My question has always been, then WHY do you feel the need to blow dry and flat iron my hair like crazy whenever I sit in your chair?! I know my curls are not terribly uniform and look more enhanced in some areas than others, but it does act more curly than straight most days.
All this to say...I took the book's advice and am living with my weird wavy/curly hair. I decided a few months back that I just do NOT have time to deal with making it perfectly straight any longer, when that's just not what it is. I was thrilled that the book encouraged me toward embracing my hair type instead of fighting it. More specifically, it taught me that while my hair may act a bit weird at times, it's natural pattern and response really is curly. It also gave a VERY simple routine to follow that helps my incredibly sensitive waves actually hold their shape w/ very little effort. It used to be a daily battle with my hair, but I am over it. This does not mean that I don't sometimes pull out the flat iron to achieve a certain look, but it is not on a daily, hair damaging basis any longer. I am learning to live with my locks and love them for what God made them to be, even if they do seem to have a mind of their own.
Anyway, thank God for the book! There is a whole section for each kind of curl type with detailed instructions on how to care for your curls, including a dvd with video instructions. This is not going to be an all around review, but let me just say how normal I felt after reading this book! For years, people have looked at me kind of screwy when I tell them that my hair is actually more curly than not - especially the various hair dressers I've been to. My question has always been, then WHY do you feel the need to blow dry and flat iron my hair like crazy whenever I sit in your chair?! I know my curls are not terribly uniform and look more enhanced in some areas than others, but it does act more curly than straight most days.
All this to say...I took the book's advice and am living with my weird wavy/curly hair. I decided a few months back that I just do NOT have time to deal with making it perfectly straight any longer, when that's just not what it is. I was thrilled that the book encouraged me toward embracing my hair type instead of fighting it. More specifically, it taught me that while my hair may act a bit weird at times, it's natural pattern and response really is curly. It also gave a VERY simple routine to follow that helps my incredibly sensitive waves actually hold their shape w/ very little effort. It used to be a daily battle with my hair, but I am over it. This does not mean that I don't sometimes pull out the flat iron to achieve a certain look, but it is not on a daily, hair damaging basis any longer. I am learning to live with my locks and love them for what God made them to be, even if they do seem to have a mind of their own.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Washing My Hair With Baking Soda: Fail...(though I did find another solution)
My hair has been changing since I began having children. I went from 'perfectly' straight, hair model type hair (those were words of my friends in the past, not my own), to this weird mushroom shaped head that was sometimes kind of wavy and sometimes straight but never really one or the other. It began to tangle easily and just wasn't the same as it used to be: as in, before I could go days without combing or brushing my hair and no one noticed (my roommate finally noticed and commented on this several months after we had been living together in college one year). I could literally roll out of bed most days, place my hair in a part and walk out the door as long as it was clean. Or, I could just literally 'wash and wear' with no ill effects. Sometimes girls would even ask me what I did to straighten it, and I would tell them..."Uh, nothing...this is just how it is I guess." I didn't realize how 'blessed' I was with easy to care for hair.
Needless to say, when my hair began to change, I sort of freaked out. If you know me, you know I'm not a vain person by any means, but I have always been a bit protective of my locks. For a few years, I basically just lived with it and used heat to straighten my hair in various ways, though it was never the same as it had been when I was younger. It was frustrating, but what could I do? I was clueless....
...Until a few years into this frustrating new hair when I ran into a few blog posts such as this one about washing your hair with baking soda. Basically, what I read promised that if I'd just give it a couple of solid months, my hair would become more manageable and less frustrating. I would stop stripping my hair of it's natural oils and it would be restored to it's normal, healthy state if I would just treat it well and stop using shampoo.
So I decided to give it a good solid shot and committed to the baking soda method for 8 weeks. In the beginning, I loved it. In fact, after the first use, my husband even commented on how different my hair looked; it obviously wasn't being weighed down by artificial moisturizers any longer. Then, I got to the weird stage where the scalp makes too much oil for a while and you just have this weird greasy crown some days. I kept at it, because every thing I had read promised this would happen. In the end, though, the oils would balance out and my hair was supposed to be healthier and happier, for the long run.
Well, I'm not sure what happened, but it just didn't go that way for me in the end. I did get over the funky greasy stage, but then my hair just got incredibly dry and even more unmanageable. When I would try to condition it, the conditioner would stick to my hair and make it look like I hadn't washed it in a week or two. I used multiple kinds of conditioners - some 'natural' and some not (w/o supposed 'bad' oils and chemicals for curly girls), but nothing seemed to help. If I used any conditioning at all, I looked greasy again, but if I didn't I was overly dry. While it was no longer being weighed down by anything artificial, it also didn't shine or look healthy, though at least it didn't look dirty. In short, it just felt weird.
All that to say, I stuck it out, but I just couldn't live with the baking soda wash long term. I have read of a variety of methods (so it's quite possible that I just didn't choose the right one), but that's okay with me for now. Those several weeks of experimentation were enough for me, and for now I've settled on a new solution from The Curly Girl Handbook.
What was supposed to be this short update is now taking up a lot of space so I'll spare the details and come back to this story another time. I will close in saying how thankful I am for the aforementioned book though - it literally gave me all the answers that NO ONE had been able to for about 4 years. Suffice it to say, I highly recommend it as a reference for anyone whose hair has the slightest wave or curl pattern. You won't regret it (and I promise to tell you more later).
Needless to say, when my hair began to change, I sort of freaked out. If you know me, you know I'm not a vain person by any means, but I have always been a bit protective of my locks. For a few years, I basically just lived with it and used heat to straighten my hair in various ways, though it was never the same as it had been when I was younger. It was frustrating, but what could I do? I was clueless....
...Until a few years into this frustrating new hair when I ran into a few blog posts such as this one about washing your hair with baking soda. Basically, what I read promised that if I'd just give it a couple of solid months, my hair would become more manageable and less frustrating. I would stop stripping my hair of it's natural oils and it would be restored to it's normal, healthy state if I would just treat it well and stop using shampoo.
So I decided to give it a good solid shot and committed to the baking soda method for 8 weeks. In the beginning, I loved it. In fact, after the first use, my husband even commented on how different my hair looked; it obviously wasn't being weighed down by artificial moisturizers any longer. Then, I got to the weird stage where the scalp makes too much oil for a while and you just have this weird greasy crown some days. I kept at it, because every thing I had read promised this would happen. In the end, though, the oils would balance out and my hair was supposed to be healthier and happier, for the long run.
Well, I'm not sure what happened, but it just didn't go that way for me in the end. I did get over the funky greasy stage, but then my hair just got incredibly dry and even more unmanageable. When I would try to condition it, the conditioner would stick to my hair and make it look like I hadn't washed it in a week or two. I used multiple kinds of conditioners - some 'natural' and some not (w/o supposed 'bad' oils and chemicals for curly girls), but nothing seemed to help. If I used any conditioning at all, I looked greasy again, but if I didn't I was overly dry. While it was no longer being weighed down by anything artificial, it also didn't shine or look healthy, though at least it didn't look dirty. In short, it just felt weird.
All that to say, I stuck it out, but I just couldn't live with the baking soda wash long term. I have read of a variety of methods (so it's quite possible that I just didn't choose the right one), but that's okay with me for now. Those several weeks of experimentation were enough for me, and for now I've settled on a new solution from The Curly Girl Handbook.
What was supposed to be this short update is now taking up a lot of space so I'll spare the details and come back to this story another time. I will close in saying how thankful I am for the aforementioned book though - it literally gave me all the answers that NO ONE had been able to for about 4 years. Suffice it to say, I highly recommend it as a reference for anyone whose hair has the slightest wave or curl pattern. You won't regret it (and I promise to tell you more later).
Friday, June 8, 2012
For His Glory
t's Five Minute Friday again over at The Gypsy Mama. We write for five minutes, from thought to fingertips, with no editing. Just real and raw reaction to the word expectation. Go.
We wait with expectation...
Wondering what God will do
How He will do it
Where He will ask us to go
How are we to go about it
We tremble
With excitement
With fear
With Joy
Curiosity
Knowing
Who He is
Who we are not
Truth
Our Reality
What if?
When?
Where?
How much will it cost?
Not in dollars and cents.
We Trust He'll provide
For the experience
We wait
With Expectation
For his glory
Stop.
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