Sigh...it's been a frustrating day...
We are trying to do some things that we know the Lord is calling us to and we (myself in particular) keep getting push-back for them. I know in the long run it's good because we wouldn't be having difficulties if we weren't trying to do what's right, but it does get very exhausting in the process.
Although sometimes I wonder...am I getting too stressed about this? Am I pushing too hard for something that will come eventually if I can just relax? How much of my attitude and "ability" to rest is tied up in the eventual success of this situation (In other words, am I not trusting God for the process...)? Will I see results now/soon or do I need to wait for a later time to evaluate?
Yikes...this mom stuff is not for the birds, that I know for sure. I am not giving up on what I know God has called me to, but I do wonder if I should be doing it differently at times.
For me, I think the most challenging thing is that I am afraid of the unknown. I want to know that everything is going to be okay and that I'm doing what's right despite what things may look like at times. Bottom line: I want control, and it really gets under my skin when I can't have it...which is, in reality...never. The truth is that's okay, because Someone Else is already in control. He already knows the outcome, and he's got the Victory.
Father, you see my heart and you know my desire is to obey you and do your will. I'm sorry for attempting to take control of everything instead of entrusting all things to your perfect plan. Your will be done, Lord. Thank you for reminding me that you never leave or forsake me, and that your will will be done in the end, despite my mistakes.
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All this reminds me of something I heard on the radio yesterday that really spoke to me. I don't know who the author was, but she was on Midday Connection on Moody Radio. Basically, God gave her an acronym for the word Truth, and it's a really great tool for pretty much any problem. Since it came to my mind now, I might as well share it here in my own words...maybe it will help someone else too.
T stands for Trouble...What is the trouble I am in or dealing with right now?
R stands for Respond... How do I/did I/will I respond to the situation?
U stands for Underlying idols...What about my response uncovers any underlying idols I have that may color the way I see this situation, as compared to...
T stands for (God's) Truth...How does God view the situation?
H stands for the Heart of God. I need to get into his Word and be reminded of his heart. What most concerns him about this situation? How may I glorify him and know him better as a result of coming to terms with His TRUTH?
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